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Friday, December 2, 2011

Ups and Downs -the ebbing confidence of the typical writer

You're on a high, you're feeling good about your project!

Everything seems to be falling into place.  You're climbing fast. Success is immanent.Oh, the places you'll go!

Then, doubt creeps in...

You're not different, you're not special.  It seems as if EVERYONE is doing what you're doing.  You're supposed to be setting yourself apart not following along like a mindless sheep.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?  Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
An article saying you're doing it wrong, a blog saying you haven't got a chance, others, struggling like you except they're not like you because they've been struggling for years and you've just gotten in...still, their goal is the same...like you.

Only, they aren't you.  While you may have a 'community' behind you, you're also alone.  You follow in the footsteps of others but based on what?  Success? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maah.  (because anyone whose been around sheep knows there is no 'b' in the sound they make)

So, now what?  Are you a sheep?  Are you an innovator?  Are you a fighter?  Are you even up to the challenge?  Did you even know the challenge would be there to begin with? Did you expect it to be easy? Is it too much for you? Are you a coward? Chicken S&*T? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

Then, it happens.  You quiet your mind and take a moment.  You read what you've written and remember that you're in the game not because you want to be like everyone else but because you ARE original and the proof is the words right in front of you.  You don't just like your story, you LOVE it.  It calls to you when you don't pay it attention.  It wants more of you. More of your time. Your story is a reflection of you albeit a shadowy one.

You're a writer. Let everyone else get bogged down by doubt.  Get up and see it through. Trust the mind that created your story to see you to the end.  To what end?  To your end, not the sheep's end.  You decide how your journey will end.

You're doing it wrong! You'll fail for sure! You don't know what you're doing! You don't deserve to be here to begin with.  Listen to those who've walked the walk -who've seen YOUR end, not their end, which, in all probability falls far short of YOUR end. Shut out the others. Block them out and move onward.  Time is a luxury no man can purchase.

Lift yourself up.  When you can't, find someone who is kind enough to lend you a hand.  The voyage is long, treacherous, not for the faint of heart.

If your story pecks at the back of your mind, "let me out, writer, share me," it says. If your creation wasn't boxed in to conform before it was even complete -you are a creator. Let it grow with you as you grow.  Don't despair

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

There is only one you, there is only one 'your story'. One. If it consumes you (if it is right, it will consume you) let it. You are but an extension of your words.  Wield them.  Innovate.  Collaborate.  Lift others as you rise. Let the sheep worry about the negativity, the doubt and the dead ends.

You are a writer -does self doubt come along for the ride? Absolutely.  Let it.  Over-confidence will land you with the sheep. Maah.

Stay positive, self doubt is an extension of your editorial you.  You need it beside you.

I'll see you at the end.  MY end not YOUR end.

P.S. Thank you Dr Seuss

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