Star Wars episode 7 trailer coming soon, will JJ Abrams meet expectations?

As a Star Wars junkie, I'm sure you know that the title of episode seven was announced earlier this month. The title left me feeling cautiously optimistic.  

Star Wars, The Force Awakens.

Just to back up a few steps -after the last three films (episodes/debacles 1-3), I was left disheartened with the franchise (see my rants HERE ).  When Lucasfilm sold to Disney, I was excited.  No more George Lucas (sorry, bro, everyone's time comes eventually), no more crappy casting and vomit-inducing love scene dialogue. I was even more excited when I found out that JJ Abrams was slated to direct.  

He did an amazing job resurrecting  the Star Trek franchise with Star Trek and Into Darkness, directed Super 8 (awesome movie) and Lost (best TV show EVER). Then they released information about the casting…including casting some of the originals, which horrified me (see THIS blog post for more on that). 

Then, primary casting was announced  and I was slightly relieved.   Good potential -especially with Abrams at the helm. 

Okay now we are current.  

The name releases.  Star Wars, The Force Awakens. This could be good, right?

My first thoughts are negative (unfortunately -damn you, George Lucas for making me so pessimistic!) 

Can the force sleep? 

Are all those little Midi-chlorians taking a cozy little nap?  

Who/how are they going to be woken from their comfy beds?

At the end of episode VI (Return of the Jedi) Luke is the reigning bad-ass when it comes to the force (possibly the only one) and his sister, Leia has ‘the force’ in a very fledgling state. The end. 

So 30 years later what has happened to the dynamic duo (Luke & Leia) to cause the force to fall into obscurity?

Here is where the positive thinking comes in.  Something bad had to happen, right? Something dark and very JJ Abrams-esque. Perhaps the collapse of the Rebellion, the banishment of Luke and Leia, the destruction of Endor, Naboo and every other annoying character, species and storyline Lucas created?  

See 'ya later, Jar Jar. 

End of Endor.

Things are looking up for sure.

According to THIS ARTICLE  from IGN, Disney may debut a trailer within the next 4-5 weeks.  Sweet! (fingers crossed)

So, with any luck, the galaxy is in ruin, the original cast is banished and occupies about twelve seconds of screen time and an awesome re-booted franchise is birthed.

Star Wars: Episode VII, The Force Awakens, is scheduled to release December 18th, 2015

There is a GREAT ARTICLE with several fan-made Star Wars VII posters worth checking out.   Two of the coolest (and two of the funniest) are below. 

10 things I'd rather have done than watch Safe Haven

by J.R. Wagner

Yeah, I saw it.  It was one of those exchanges...I chose Django Unchained (yes, the Academy award winning film!) and as punishment for making my wife sit through the violence I agreed to see this.

Before the list I'd like to say that I sat through the majority of the movie believing the lead male character (Josh Duhamel) played Bones (Dr. McCoy) in the latest Star Trek film, which made it slightly more tolerable...slightly.

I was horrified to find out that it was not Bones (who is played by Karl Urban. Sorry Karl)

Urban

Duhamel

In my defense, they look very, very similar...especially when you're looking for some little thing to cling onto in order to justify sitting through a movie like this.

To the list!

Ten things I'd rather have done than watch Safe Haven

10. Spend 115 minutes watching...paint dry

image credit

 9. Get my legs waxed

yikes... (image credit)

The future of Star Wars -Star Wars VII

by J.R. Wagner

J.J. Abrams

JJ Abrams has been picked (more like begged) to direct the next Star Wars film.

Two words: Thank God.

Shortly after the announcement that Disney had purchased Lucasfilm Ltd. came the announcement that there would be new star wars films. 

My first reaction was one of pure terror. You see, I've lived through a very similar announcement. The first time, we fans had come off the high of the original films years prior when we began hearing rumors of prequels.  Excitement rose until it was almost palpable...that is, until the films were released.

You can get a sense of how I felt about the prequels by perusing these posts:

Top five YouTube videos supporting my disdain for the Star Wars prequels
Star Wars VII, stop the nonsense
Top ten most annoying Star Wars characters

Anyway, it was a major let down. I actually did a speech about how George Lucas ruined my childhood.  This post; A Jedi's lament, covers some parts of that speech.

So, after cursing George Lucas for creating the prequels, I moved on with my life as a fan of film.  Years later I started watching this amazing show on network television (of all things) called Lost.  I was floored!  What an amazing, creative, cutting-edge show filled with fantastic actors.


And who was the man behind this ground-breaking show?  JJ Abrams.

Several years after Lost began came the greatest re-load of a series in the history of film.  Star Trek.  I'm not a Star Trek fan by any stretch of the imagination (or I wasn't at the time) but this film had everything a non-fan needed to appreciate the movie. Great acting, pacing, plot, creativity...and on.  Abrams pulled the drowning franchise from the depths. 

Not long after Star Trek came the end of Lost and a void, which has not been filled to this day, in my television enjoying life.

Thank goodness for the movies, right?



Along came a film that I fell in love with the moment I saw it. It so much reminded me of my childhood (except for the alien...and the train wreck) that I couldn't get over it! Who was responsible? JJ Abrams. The movie? Super 8.

So in my mind, Abrams had earned the street cred necessary to re-make just about any film.  Especially when so many big name directors (Ridley Scott: Prometheus -see my diatribe here) (Pete Jackson: The Hobbit -ditto here)  dropping the ball on their high budget films.

When I hard about Star Wars VII, all I could think was, ugh...how are they going to screw this one up.  Then, after some introspection, I decided there was one person who could resurrect this franchise.  JJ Abrams.  Lots of talk floated about from director to director and each announcement made me cringe.  Abrams originally declined and I though all was lost...alas, I was wrong.

There is hope for the Star Wars franchise after all!

Movie thoughts: The Hobbit

By J.R. Wagner

I've been dreading writing this post since I watched The Hobbit on opening day (at 12:01 am).  I have such a love for the three Lord of the Rings films and it pains me to think that Peter Jackson has fallen down the same well as George Lucas. I will try to avoid including any spoilers but I make no guarantees. I'm assuming that you've read the book.





Before I begin my rant you must know that I'm an early riser so a midnight showing isn't an easy thing for me to sit through.  I actually felt myself falling asleep in parts not because the pacing was slow or boring but because I'd been awake since 4:30.  With that in mind, even I question my clarity when it comes to discussing this film and I hope that when it comes out on Blu-Ray and I am able to view it during normal waking hours, I may come to a different conclusion.  It isn't likely but there is always a chance.

Onward. If I were asked to say one word about The Hobbit, it would be disappointment.  Perhaps the expectations were simply too high for Peter Jackson and company but if you step up to the plate, you're going to play ball.

I was disappointed almost immediately simply because Jackson felt the need to tie in characters from LOTR (*cough* Frodo) when they weren't needed.  It did nothing for plot progression, and came across as filler material to get that nearly 3 hour run time that Jackson is famous for.

So, almost out of the gate, I was annoyed.  The scene with the Dwarves was very true to the book and I have to give Jackson credit for not rushing through this part -although, when has Peter Jackson rushed through anything?

Martin Freeman

On a positive note, Martin Freeman did a phenomenal job as Bilbo Baggins.  Perfect.

As the film progressed, it quickly became apparent that more and more irrelevant characters and scenes were sprinkled throughout the film.

For instance (spoiler alert, sorry I can't help myself) Jackson created a new character (he may not be new to the books but he sure as hell didn't play this much of a part), I can't recall if he is a goblin or an orc, regardless this fella (It may be Azog) apparently fought in the battle with Thorin, leader of the Dwarves and killed his father.  (And, as I said, this may have been mentioned in one of Tolkien's books, appendices or some other Tolkien work.) Anyway, throughout the film he and his army are hunting down the company of Dwarves (plus Bilbo and Gandalf) adding a completely unnecessary and irritating plot point.

This is akin to George Lucas' General Grievous (Star Wars episode II) Totally unnecessary. Every time he shows up on screen, I felt myself rolling my eyes. there are more than enough bad guys in the original story, which isn't slow whatsoever.

I watched the movie in 3D, which I really don't like.  I'm hoping this is just a fad and goes back to the 70's from whence it came as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong, the 3D was cool, I just find it irritating to watch. Beggars can't be choosers when it comes to midnight showings.

So the story moves onward, other obscure and pointless characters are introduced until finally we wind up in the caves where Bilbo meets Gollum. This part was great -everybody loves Gollum from LOTR and he didn't disappoint (all while staying true to the book). There were some inconsistencies between how Bilbo from LOTR picked up the ring and how Bilbo from The Hobbit picked up the ring but, in PJ's defense, I'm sure he didn't think he'd be going back and shooting this scene in its entirety and you can't go back and change that scene with Martin Freeman...can you?  God, please don't let PJ start messing with the LOTR films like George Lucas did to Star Wars (like when he completely cut out the actor who played the Emperor in The Empire Strikes Back and digitally inserted the actor who played him in the prequels. Train. Wreck.)

Yup, he just cut the poor guy out

 No, Peter, Don't do it!!!

Why Ridley Scott should let me direct Blade Runner 2 (part 2)

By J.R. Wagner

I know..It's about time, right?!

30th anniversary Blu-Ray combo pack!

For those not following from the beginning, there are two previous posts that should help clarify where I am coming from.

1. Prometheus from the Alien super-fan's perspective
2. Why Ridley Scott MUST let me direct Blade Runner 2

To quickly summarize, I've determined that I am not the best choice to direct the project however I am more than qualified to join the writing team. So, moving forward...

Have you watched the original Blade Runner lately?

I have.

I noticed something right away. Despite being the holy grail of sci-fi films, the pace of Blade Runner is slow.  Very slow. Almost to the point of being intolerable. Certainly to the point that younger audiences would probably change the channel after about five minutes. Yes, it is that slow.

While it may seem like I've been dragging my butt to write this post (this is partly true), in my defense, I've been brainstorming between posts.  Do I write a new, fresh screenplay with the same plot, characters and premise OR do I delve into the prequel/sequel arena.

Being fully aware of how terribly wrong prequels based on films not originally written with a prequel in mind (Prometheus, Star Wars -need I say more) I tend to shy away from the prequel.

But...but...there is mention of a storyline that would make great prequel fodder. AND the film is based on a book, which gives depth where a screenplay generally lacks. So against my better judgement, I believe a film set chronologically before Blade Runner (I'd actually like to over-lap just a tad) will be successful.

The storyline I speak of? 

This is the opening title sequence from Blade Runner:

Opening crawl from the movie:

Early in the 21st Century, THE TYRELL CORPORATION advanced Robot evolution into the NEXUS phase -- a being virtually identical to a human -- known as a replicant. The NEXUS 6 Replicants were superior in strength and agility, and at least equal in intelligence, to the genetic engineers who created them. Replicants were used Off-world as slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and colonization of other planets. After a bloody mutiny by a NEXUS 6 combat team in an Off-world colony, Replicants were declared illegal on earth -- under penalty of death. Special police squads -- BLADE RUNNER UNITS -- had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicants.

Notice the bold type?  THAT is where we go.

The opening sequence looks something like this: 

We are going to interchange shots of the 'birth' of the NEXUS-6 combat team with shots of the very same androids turning on their human overseers.  So from the gate, we set a fast pace, gain some perspective on the characters and  introduce a new look for the film. None of this Prometheus/Alien crap where we attempt to cross over set design, costumes etc...none of that nonsense.

We will first focus on Roy Batty, the main bad ass android played by Rutger Hauer in the original.

Rutger Hauer as 'Roy'

Chris Hemsworth

 I think it is important -nigh essential to cast someone completely different than Rutger Hauer in this role. Since I recently watched The Avengers, I've got Chris Hemsworth on my brain. I know he can act beyond a super-hero (see the opening sequence from the new Star Trek film) so...congratulations, Chris, you've just been cast as Roy Batty in the new Blade Runner film written by J.R. Wagner (because writers so often have a say in the casting). Welcome aboard, Chris!


I realize this shot is eye-candy for some of y'all, however understand the NEXUS-6 are androids and therefore physically perfect.

Here. More clothes.

Why Ridley Scott MUST let me direct Blade Runner 2

By J.R. Wagner

To understand where I am coming from you need to read my post:

Prometheus from an Alien super-fan's perspective

 It is worth a look just for the humor -seriously.

Onward.

What gives me the right to say I should be chosen as director of Ridley Scott's mystery Blade Runner project?

How do I even know about this project?  Well, I simply stumbled upon it while looking up Scott's directorial credits on IMDB.  

The Mysterious Blade Runner Project!

Back to what gives me the right to suggest I should even be considered as director of the film.

Answer: Nothing.

I have no directorial credits to my name. I don't even know how to use a camera. I don't even know what a key grip is (I see it all the time in movie credits but have no clue what it is).

Actually, I don't want to direct Blade Runner Re-born (for lack of a better title).

That being said, I don't want Ridley Scott to direct BRR (that's Blade Runner Re-born for my slower readers) either. 

Let me be clear. Mr. Ridley Scott is a god in the film world (as he should be).  Until Prometheus, I would have been stoked about BRR but now I'm just afraid that another great story with all the potential in the world will be destroyed.  I'm going to mention another film god. George Lucas.  Why am I mentioning George Lucas? 3 reasons. Star Wars Episode I, Star Wars Episode II and Star Wars Episode III.  Bad, worse and a complete abomination. 

George Lucas...in carbonite.

Ridley Scott is on the precipice of a disaster of Star Wars proportions.  Will he be known as the great director or will he be known as the director who didn't know when to hand over the reins until it was too late?

I wouldn't have bothered writing this if I didn't have a solution in mind.  And, of course, I do. Here it is:

First, fire the director.  Wait, that's Ridley Scott isn't it?  Well, yeah. If he want's to see his baby rise to a level worthy of the original, he will need to let go.  He can be executive producer -or something like that.

Second, hire J. J. Abrams to direct.  Why Abrams? Three words: Star Trek and (the and doesn't count) Lost. Abrams successfully steered the Star Trek franchise out of the ever-swirling toilet of despair where films like the Star Wars prequels, Prometheus, Dredd, Total Recall (the new ones) and many other re-makes and sequels (or prequels) die horrible deaths. Star Trek is a phenomenal movie for more reasons than I will get into. Why is Lost relevant? You'll see.

Third, fire the writers. Based on the IMDB post, Scott is in talks with Hampton Fancher - one of the writers of the original screenplay (along with David Peoples).  I've got nothing against Mr. Fancher, who has a writing and acting resume longer than my first novel other than the fact that he was involved in the first Blade Runner.  We need fresh minds! Directors, writers, actors -the whole deal!

Fourth, hire new writers. So who are we hiring as writers? Two people, actually. The first is Damon Lindelof. Yes, I am aware Lindelof was a writer for Prometheus (one of several so I can't blame him PLUS it was Scott's baby). I am also aware that Lindlof wrote for Lost -there it is again...Lost, Star Trek (the new one) and some other great stuff. The second writer is J.R. Wagner.  Hmm -that name sounds familiar.  Damn right it does! I want in! And in my next post, I'll tell you why I deserve to be in...actually, I'll show you.

Abrams

Top five youtube videos supporting my disdain for the Star Wars prequels

by J. R. Wagner


After some laborious hunting around youtube, I've managed to find five videos that do a rather comprehensive job at describing why the Star Wars prequels are simply downright offensive to a fan of the original films.


This first video takes a newly released song and spins it into a beautifully written diatribe about the prequels.






Video #2 (sorry about the title) gets down to the nitty-gritty. Lots of specific examples of why the films are terrible.






Video three takes a different approach. It asks the question, what if episode one was good? (grammatically, it should be were good...but whose counting?)








Video four is a funny comedy bit done by a die hard original film fan about what he would do if he could travel back in time. Very funny! **content warning, language is rough in this one.

Top ten reasons why you MUST read Exiled

Yes, I am well aware of the complete and total self-serving nature of this post...so humor me.


10. No vampires.

9. No werewolves.

8. George Lucas had nothing to do with the writing of this novel.

 

7. Because someone created a profile on Goodreads just to give Exiled a one-star rating. No other user activity whatsoever! 

6. Because you don't need completely unbelievable love triangles that take away from the plot progression to make good reading.

 5. Because Exiled isn't poorly written porn wrapped in a mainstream package.

4. Did I mention there isn't one effing Vampire in Exiled?

3. Exiled is NOT on Oprah's book club list. (although I secretly wish it was -for promotional purposes only, of course)

2. I'm working on optioning Exiled and future volumes from The Never Chronicles with a major Hollywood producer.

yep, I'm working on it

Guest Post by me, age 11

I thought I'd share another gem of a writing sample from my youth.  This masterpiece is a sample from the sequel to Return of the Jedi. (what else would it be?)

Written by Josh Wagner and Nick Bausch (hope you don't mind, Nick)
     

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..............

Episode VII Return of the Empire

     The rebels have begun construction on a new base on the planet of Endor.  now that the Empire is destroyed, the rebels are not in a hurry to complete there (yes there) base and there (yes, once again, there) worries are few.

     Little do they know on the far side of the galaxy the empire is reforming.  There (ugh) leader a dark lord from the planet Donateo, Lord Opi who is determined to crush the rebellion. He has many allies, his most powerful is the force.
   

The empire is finishing the last stage on a new base twice as big and three times as powerful as the Death Star.  This space station is located inside an asteroid within in impassable asteroid field. (Kind of makes you wonder how effective an offensive strategy one would launch from such a location) This space station will spell certain doom to the small band of rebels trying to restore freedom to the galaxy.....(I was nice enough to correct the spelling of galaxy -from gallexy)

Luke "It sure is a clear night outside, isn't it." (I guess this isn't a question)
Liea "You can see for miles!"
Han "What's going on out here?"
Liea  " We are just admiring the sky isn't it beautiful?"
Han "Yeah great, has anyone seen Chewie, he has a part to the power generator I'm working on for the Falcon."
Luke "Oh where are you going?" (Wow, shouldn't Liea be the one asking these questions?)
Han "No where (ugh) just fixing her up for the hell of it. (George lucas managed to go three entire movies without a single curse and we made it to the middle of the second page.)

     Han was about to turn around to leave when he saw a bright red glow shoot across the sky into the forest many miles away.

Han" Did you see that!" (more of a statement than a question, I suppose)
Liea "Yes what was it."
Han "Probably just a meteor."
Luke "I don't think so." under his breath
Liea "We better check in it is getting late and we have a busy day tomorrow."
Han "Yeah, but I think we should check it out in the morning anyway.

     They all turned around and went back into the base.

The dialogue is arguably as good, if not better than George Lucas' -especially when compared to the three most recent films. Lets just hope Lucas doesn't steal this priceless idea....

Check out my website, which is now live!

www.TheNeverChronicles.com

A Jedi's Lament...part I

I've been meaning to get this off my chest for....well, a long time.

There I was, sitting in the movie theater with my family, tears rolling down my cheeks as his body burned on the funeral pyre. The greatest villain of my generation had been struck down and destroyed by his own son. For a five-year-old, that was quite a bit to digest.

We left the theater and I realized, my world had ended. Since I was old enough to understand what I was seeing, George Lucas' Star Wars series had consumed my every thought. Now that world I had escaped to so often as a child was gone.

And yet, as time passed, a whispering began. It ebbed and flowed as time passed. Articles in the paper here, a spot on the local news there yet nothing firm. No release date and most importantly, no confirmation from the man himself that another film was to be released.

I passed the time making stop-motion films with my heavily used Star Wars toys

Check this bad boy out!

 writing scripts for sequels and even filming shorts with my parent's VHS recorder. Then the Phantom Menace trailer hit theaters across the US on Friday 12th March 1999 (yes I was already an adult...but not by much).

I was giddy as a schoolgirl...until I saw the trailer.





I immediately had my doubts.  What was this long eared thing with the most annoying accent imaginable?  Who was this kid that couldn't act himself out of a cardboard box? On the plus side was the lineup of A list actors.  Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson!  How could you go wrong with that lineup?

Two lines of text I should have known could only end in tragedy: Writer: George Lucas, Director: George Lucas

If only I knew then what I know now...sigh.

Next time...the reaction.